They talk to me

There are songs which are made for people to sing-along.

There are songs that are catchy.

There are made-for-disco kinda songs.

Then there are songs which are absolutely impossible to sing along, but every time you hear it your heart skips a beat and starts singing along with it in the most wonderful way possible.

Songs that talk to you in the language you want it to, when no one else seems to get what you’re saying.

Which gives you answers for the questions even you’re not sure about.

Songs that somehow gives you hope.

For a better day, better ‘someone’ …

Better life!

That somehow tells you,

“This is just a phase. Don’t worry, there are beautiful things awaiting you along the road. Don’t miss the glory along the road, keeping you eyes closed for fear of something you hope not to see. Coz seeing these helps you appreciate what you’re gonna get even more. You need to make it through the rain to see the rainbow”


Songs to hold on to when you feel you’ve absolutely nothing.

The facts that I don’t have any pink stuffed toy in my room, or coz I don’t own five pairs of heels, or the fact that I don’t shop every other day….apparently make me..Err...a guy!!!

See this!

You Are 16% Girly

Um... you're a guy, right? If not, you're the most boyish girl in the world. And for you, that's probably the ultimate compliment.

How Girly Are You?

Blogthing SUCKS!!!

And for those people reading, I’m so totally in touch with my womanhood. Ahem!

Its funny the kinda relation my mother and I have. Couldn’t be more different than the way things are with karthu and her mom. Ok, now I’m not saying ours is bad…just weird that is. And I’m gonna say it like it is.

Ours is a love-hate kinda relation :-/

Of course, I love her lots…that goes without saying. But there are even days when you ‘dislike’ temporarily the person you love the most. In our case, that just happens to occur more than usual. Dunno why.

I hear many of my friends go ‘Ooh, she’s my best friend!’ My mom was never my best friend and I know she will never be…I can bet my life on it, coz I know her well…hey, she’s my mom after all.

And I never (well, almost never) go up to her with my troubles, unless its study wala troubles. Then there’s no better person to solve it than my mom. Anybody having ‘I’m-having-exams-morrow-and-haven’t-studied-a-thing’ phobia, call up my mom and she puts you right back on track. That’s my mom for you.

One cool thing about her is her ‘once you’re done with your studies, you do whatever you want’ attitude. Nothing makes her happier than me studying. Alas! Even then I can’t bring myself to study that well…maybe I could (should?) change…hmm…

And we have the biggest cat fights ever in the history of mother-daughter relationships. These fights are not like a once-a-month wala; more like twice/thrice a day wala.

‘How many times do I have to tell u to make the bed when you get out of it?’

‘Why didn’t u tell me so-and-so called? You never tell me what’s happening!’

‘Why are you on the phone all the time? What is there to talk about sooo much? Is it any guy trouble (raising her eyebrows)? ’

We fight for the trivial things…

It’s a wonder why I still haven’t lost my voice after all this shouting. But then, if my mom can make it thro’ after all these years, I guess it’s in the genes.

But it’s her, who makes up all the time and it’s all lovey-dovey...until the next fight comes along.

Another sweet thing about her is she’s cutely naïve. Still sometimes dotes on me like I’m a baby.

Like once, I was blabbering about how this Hollywood guy was dating this gal and so on…seeing her stumped look on her face, I stopped and asked her what’s wrong…

My mom went, “you actually know about dating and stuff? Oh, how much you’ve grown *sigh*…” and then mumbles to herself about how the big, bad world is influencing the “innocent children”.

Mom, I’m 19. I should know about dating….and more stuff, for that matter. Ahem!

*evil grin*

It would prick my conscience if I said I had the best mom in the world, or that she couldn’t get any better than this.

But I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything else in the whole world for sure.

Life wouldn’t be the same without my sweet-annoying-mom.

Love ya lots!!!

At Palakkad – Part 1

The trip

The usually boring-to-death trip this time I hoped would be fun since I had two pals with me. Not considering the embarrassment caused due to the ‘communication problems’ between me and my mom…it was fun actually (except for the part where you were telling us about the freak movie SAW II)…after they both got off, I started reading this book – ‘The witches’ by Roald Dahl, which I have to say is a very very cute book. I kept on laughing my head off; people in the train must’ve thought I was going crazy ;-)

The stay

There’s nothing that could beat a family get together. Catching up on stuff others been up to, hearing naughty stories about your parents/uncles/aunts from the past and teasing them like crazy, fighting for a page of the newspaper (which to tell you the truth, I don’t even want…anyways ,I do it for the sake of fighting :-D) ….its total chaos, my kinda chaos :-)

Then I’ve two little cousins who totally adore me…I’m ‘The Big One’ there! The tiny tots follow me around like puppies all day long, which sometimes gets in the way of me sneaking out stuff from the cupboard, but most of the time its pretty flattering. And this time I even read them a book! Even I am surprised by this.

Me and the elder one of the tiny tots team up against the younger one and tease her about absolutely nothing till she goes ‘Waaaah!’ and runs up to her mom. That’s when I act all innocent and blame it on the elder tot. I know, what a mature thing to do, right? ;-)

The greatest thing about my native place is that you could just wander endlessly in the grounds, climbing trees or just sit by the pond listen to the sounds of nature…just slow things down, reflect upon your life, just breathe…things we don’t get to do in Trivandrum while running to catch up with the pace of life.

And there are huge fields behind our place, which during the season, are really a sight to see…I’m posting a pic (others I can’t coz there are people in it)

Isn’t it really beautiful???

A li'l nostalgia

Painting the house has been a boon in disguise…

Came upon things that I thought had lost forever, certain other things I didn’t know existed in my very own house…things that make me wish I could start over again…be a li’l girl just one more time…

Saw this li’l clay puppy that my friend, A, had given me for gift exchange while in 5th grade. And I remember, somehow clumsy me managed to break it that evening itself into a million pieces and was so upset that by the next day, my dad had somehow managed to glue back ¾th of it. Was so happy back then…isn’t my dad a sweetheart?

Then diaries from my past years that I was so afraid had fallen into the ‘wrong’ hands (my sister’s). So glad I got it back…spent the entire evening reading the crazy stuff I used to write. The happenings in my 9th, 10th grades…lotsa stuff about my 2 best pals I had back then, lotsa lotsa gossips (guess that’s the only thing that aint changed…my love for gossip:-D) etc. I wonder if I knew in those days what keeping a journal meant…coz it’s so full of crap….lovely crap!! Gonna save it for my children to read ;-)

Greeting cards from pals – some I’m still in touch with, some I wish I was in touch with, some I have no idea where they vanished into….back then getting a card used to be so cool!

Never gonna let go of these things again ever…gotta make sure I don’t lose them again…

And some totally hilarious things. Like I came across a pic of my dad before marriage with long hair looking soo totally like someone from a ‘nadakam’ (play). And one of my mom’s from the 80’s with the then ‘in style’ hair do (which totally sucked by the way)…

Hmm…I could go on and on…

But as of now, Lemme go and dig up more old stuff…

Back from my native place :-)

feels great to be home!

I was gonna write about my stay at Palakkad but something’s bothering my mind right now….can’t write anything in the current state of mind…will post it once everything gets cleared up…till then…adios…

Yaaaaaaaaayyy!!!!
My 25th post!!! Double yaaaaaaaay!!!!!
Freebird grabs whoever reading this and dance around the room….;-)

OK, now this is where the post actually starts…

I dunno if I should apologize for my previous post or not.
This blog idea was to express my feelings and I’m beginning to wonder if I’m taking the expressing-myself thing a bit too far.

Making a fool of my blog by showing off my mood swings.

I’ve always been an expressive person myself. I like to tell people (people that I’m sure stand a chance of understanding me, people I know and who know me well, that’s who) stuff about me. As for me, there aint a problem that can’t be solved by talking to others. This, I know, some find a very difficult thing to do. But opening up to people have always come naturally come to me.

But these days, without my sis around and just a few couple of friends I really feel comfortable talking to about stuff like these, I find myself putting down the things I feel right then and there. Till the blogging thing came along, it used to be more like writing on a piece of paper which could be found sometime later in the waste basket.

After I started blogging, I started putting down these as blog posts.

The guy X, in the previous post, had just somehow pissed me off a li’l and was still a li’l bit heart-broken when I posted the last one.

And since I don’t believe in taking down things I’ve already posted, am not gonna take it down.

Gonna let it stay there as proof of the various mood swings I’ve had.

To be reminded of the dumb things, my easily-swayed-heart has made me done. (for e.g., I’m currently listening to this AMAZING song ‘soona man ka aangan’ from parineeta and this post might ‘slightly’ be influenced by it too….this hormones are really getting onto me these days…*sigh*)

And just for clearance, I had said that I hate the fact that I care too much about X. I never said I hated X. I could never bring myself to hate X, for it’s not his fault that I feel this way. I just hate that I do feel this way when even when I don’t want myself to feel this way.

Guess bein’ practical is not one of ‘my things’.

I know this is just a phase…this too shall pass…and all I hope for is that until it’s over I won’t do anything that I might regret doing later.

I can’t promise that I won’t be posting stuff still under the influence of something bothering my mind, but all I can do is just make sure it makes ‘some’ sense.I seriously should learn the difference b/w a blog and a personal diary.

p.s: And also am not gonna use the ‘hate’ word from now on, unless I really really mean it. Yeah, guess it’s too powerful a word, akhil.

Since I wanna end my 25th post on a more happier note,

I love my blog ;-)

Hate 'em all

I hate the fact that I care. That I care about someone who obviously doesn’t care about me. I hate it that I care too much about X. Also the way I forget everything and let X sweet-talk me into forgetting all that.

Hate it that I care even while knowing X doesn’t. Hate it even more that X knows I care. Hate the way I always end up making a fool of myself in front of X. Hate how X laughs at my silliness and how I laugh at them too.

Hate how I convince myself that I won’t lose my esteem and when X comes how I throw myself at X.

Why do I do it?

Hate the fact that I dunno why.

Also, Hate this post by the way.

My friend 'X'

Had great fun yesterday…hung out with my pals from college…just getting to know ‘em these days. That’s the part I like the most…when you kinda ‘just know’ what would last and what wouldn’t…ones you wanna hang out with for long term and ones you’re made to.

There’s this gal in my class, let’s say X. Really ‘my type’. There’s another gal, Y…who really isn’t my type…or anybody’s for that matter. But I hang out with both of ‘em, X coz I want to & Y coz they come as a package:-D…now how much X like Y, I dunno…and haven’t asked yet. One say I’ll…but I’m kinda suspecting that X isn’t that much keen on Y’s company either…Sorry, Y…But you’re sometimes just plain rude and selfish, which isn’t my type.

Now about X…I met her at our college. Totally cool, real spontaneous. Liked her from the very first day. Those days we were just some gals thrown into each other’s company, whether you like it or not.

But now things have changed. I now know whom I like and whom I don’t (hate is too powerful a word and I don’t use it often unless I really mean it).

These days X & I, I feel, are getting a li’l closer. Be both bitch about Y (just harmless teasing) behind her back..:-D…& thank god, she aint that ‘girlish’. Coz sometimes totally ‘girlish behavior’ (like baby talk for one…aaarrrghhh!) gets on my nerves. She’s more like in me in that aspect. And we just know that we like each other’s company. Sometimes u don’t have to literally talk to convey something. Your attitude does it for you. For e.g. I try to sit with X as much as I can and she knows thatI wanna without me telling her. Yesterday, all I had to do was just give her a glance and she came and sat beside me. Coz she just knew! Now that’s something. But alas! With X comes Y too :-((

Today after college, X & I didn’t feel like going home, so we just walked for a couple of minutes, sharing jokes and stuff…was quite cool. Two gals laughing their head off right in the middle of the road, people must’ve thought we were crazy. But then, who cares???

Absolutely loves this stage when we both feel we’re just so perfect, with no annoying habits, no selfishness…everything seems so great. I know, after this comes the time when we both get to know each other’s irritating habits, but still like each other no matter what.

As I was telling her today on the way back home…

“Our eccentricity wavelengths totally match”

Looking forward to having lots more fun with you in the coming 3 years, pal.

My experiences with Relativity

I’ve learned thro’ my own experience ki there’s no better time to write a blog entry than a dead boring class. Felt like the longest two hours of my life…though i gotta admit, it was quite funny to see even the calm and cool girl next to me totally losing control and mumbling about a plan to kill the sir...towards the end we were all silent resigning to it as our fate…*sigh*…and I gotta sit in his (Ok, I’ve half a mind to use the f-word…oh, yeah, he's that bad...but one’s gotta stick on to their principles..Damn!) stupid class again tomorrow...Why, God, Why????

And the funny thing is, my sister’s visit felt like a few minutes. I hadn’t seen her in some 3 months and was really looking forward to it and then…wham! Without even realizing, she’s here and already back at work after the visit…how could that possibly be?

Which reminds me of a story I once heard about Einstein (I know what u people r saying in your heads, get to the point, lady…but sorry…yeh apun ka sshhtyyle hai, taking as much time as possible :D)

A guy was once having trouble understanding relativity (man, how dumb can you be? ;-). And this is how Einstein explained it to him.

“When you place your feet on a burning piece of coal, a minute feels like an hour. But when you’re having dinner with a gorgeous lady, an hour feels like a minute. And that’s relativity for you.”

Guess that’s the mark of a true genius. One who can make something like relativity as simple as ABCD.

p.s: this is what's left of the story in my not-so-good memory. The story might be a LOT different...but still u get my point, na?

Ok, back to the post now.

She came. We had our share of laughs, bloody fights, shopping, doing sisterly things and then she left.

(In b/w, dad had also come, he too left on Sunday.)

Now it’s like the ghost of a house that once was.
As a good friend of mine puts it, “the entire house feels empty.”

When the 4 of us gets together, its total chaos. We scream, shout at one other for the tiniest things, tease mom till she gets totally pissed off…we’re quite the weirdo family.
To quote my sis word by word, “Dad’s the only normal one in the family.”

But I miss the chaos now. Miss all the making up after fights.

Its quite annoying to have a fight with someone who knows you that well and someone who knows you as much as you know yourself…they always know exactly what’s going on in your head and which string to pull ( I do it all the time with my sis..bad me!!:-D)

For e.g. here’s a sample of conversation me & my sis had at the railway station.


Me: Hey, gimme the name of a good book, haven’t read one in ages, may go to eloor lib. today. Am thinking of taking one night@ call centre.

Sis: That book sucks! But your Uni.exams are coming, right? U shouldn’t take a book. Make a timetable, study hard.

Me: yeah, sure I won’t go then.

My thought bubble: hehe, even if I did how would u know?

Sis: (somehow sensing that I would go) Ok then, go take only one book. K?

Me. (Sounding happy) Ok then…will take only that book.
*Evil grin inside*

Sis: if I happen to know that you took more than one book, *my nickname*, I will…#@$!^^#$@#^# and she goes on and on reciting the consequences….

Me kicking myself…Damn, how on earth did she sense my evil grin?

Me: Ok baba, won’t take more than one…(couldn’t help saying this) if it helps, you’re doing a good job becoming more and more like mom by each day. Keep it up and maybe someday you’ll get even better at it than mom herself. Hehe…

That shuts her up for good for the next few minutes…all the while mom staring at us like crazy ;-)

Home doesn’t feel like home without you guys…Come back soon...so we can have lot more convos like this.